the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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