I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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