so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
