I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
