i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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