k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
