Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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