So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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