belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
