When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
