Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
