i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
