i think my tv is drunk
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
