yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
It's never too late to be topless.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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