Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
