Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
The adults are the big ones right?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
