I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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