i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Randomize
