ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
