News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
