I hate your face
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
