did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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