If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize