dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
