He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize
