he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
