Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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