I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Enjoy the penises
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
