That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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