32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize