I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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