I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
