Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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