Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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