So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
