wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
