the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
