it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Randomize
