Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
