Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
