you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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