someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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