put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Can I color on your dick again?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
