even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
