We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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