he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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