@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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