Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize