you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
