dude i'm inner monologue high
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Randomize
