I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
