Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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