I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
