Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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