How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You may now shotgun with the bride
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
