It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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