ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
