I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
