if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
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