Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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