omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Randomize
