Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
