She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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