I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
