he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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