Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
