nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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