bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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