So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
