That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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