Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
