When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
