Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize