No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
