angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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