Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
