I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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